Parineeti Chopra Asks Why the Mother Is the Default Parent. Here's What a 50/50 Home Looks Like
Parineeti Chopra asked why the mother is treated as the default parent, and said she and Raghav Chadha split their son's care. What she said, and a simple way to share the invisible list at home.
The short answer Parineeti Chopra has asked a question a lot of Indian mothers have asked quietly: why is the mother the default parent? In an interview with Gulf News, picked up again by News18 on 6 November 2026, she said a child is "50-50" between parents and that she and Raghav Chadha take turns with their son. Below is what she said, and a simple way to share the invisible list at home.
Every family has a list nobody wrote down. Whose turn is the 2 am feed. Who remembers the vaccination date. Who notices the sipper is missing again, and who sticks a name on the new one. In most homes, one person carries that list in their head, and it is usually the mother.
Parineeti Chopra, who became a mother last year, has said out loud that this does not have to be the default. Her words landed with a lot of parents, and they are worth reading in full.
What Parineeti Chopra said
Speaking to Gulf News in Dubai, Parineeti did not soften it. "The majority of this world thinks that the mother is the default parent and the only parent or the one that has to make all the changes in her life, as if the father had nothing to do with this child," she said.
She went on: "The child is 50-50 the parents, right? But somehow, in our society, we have normalised just the mother doing all of it. And all the changes that must happen after a baby happen only to the mother, and the father becomes the visiting parent."
"Parenthood has to be what works for that couple, and society cannot dictate." Parineeti Chopra, to Gulf News
Asked whether the question of how women juggle motherhood and work bothers her, she was honest: "It does irritate me."
How she and Raghav Chadha share the work
Parineeti married politician Raghav Chadha in 2023, and the couple welcomed their son, Neer, in October 2025, according to The Times of India. Two demanding public jobs, one baby. Her answer to how they manage is refreshingly plain: "So today, if I'm at work, he's with the baby. When he's at work, I'm with the baby."
She is careful not to pretend the two roles are identical in the early months. "A father biologically may be behind in the motherhood process because he's not doing the pregnancy and the feeding and the postpartum, but he is very much the soldier behind it all," she told Gulf News.
And she does not prescribe one model for everyone. "There are households where the father has to work and the mother has to give up things for the home, or vice versa," she said. "Everything is valid." What she hopes for is simple: that "effort-wise and intention-wise, the roles are not tipped only in favour of the mother taking over everything."
Why "default parent" hits home in India
Ask around any school gate and you will hear the same story. The school WhatsApp group has the mother's number. The PTM reminder goes to her. The note about "bring a labelled water bottle tomorrow" arrives at 9 pm, and she is the one who finds a sticker. None of these jobs is big. Together, they are a second shift.
That is what makes Parineeti's point useful. She is not asking fathers to help. She is saying they are parents, with the same list. The word "visiting" stings because so many families recognise it: Papa takes the kids to the park on Sunday, and Mumma runs everything else.
Share the invisible list: a 5-step start
You do not need a big family meeting. Try this over one week.
1. Write the whole list. Feeds, doctor visits, school forms, the daycare bag, birthday return gifts, the vaccination card. Put it on paper or on the fridge. You cannot split what you cannot see.
2. Own a job end to end. "Helping with the school bag" still leaves one person remembering. Instead, one parent owns the school bag: packing it, checking it, replacing what goes missing.
3. Swap by shift, like they do. Whoever is home is on duty, fully. No calling the other parent to ask where the spare clothes are.
4. Do the boring set-up once. A lot of the mental load is repeat work: hunting for a lost bottle, re-explaining which tiffin is whose. Label everything the day bag carries in one evening, and the question "whose is this?" stops landing on one person.
5. Check in every Sunday. Ten minutes, two cups of chai, one question: what felt heavy this week? Then move a job across.
A small fix for the daycare and playschool bag
Bottles, sippers, spoons and tiffins are the things that go missing most, and the things a tired parent has to chase. Our waterproof labels stay on through washing, so whichever parent packs the bag knows every item will come home. The wider name labels range covers clothes and books too, and a bag tag means the bag itself never gets mixed up at pick-up. These are four waterproof designs we like for babies and toddlers.
All four were in stock when we wrote this. Orders above Rs 399 ship free across India, and personalised items take 8 to 12 working days to arrive.
More for busy parents
Wondering if labels will last on bottles that go through hot water every day? We tested that in do waterproof name labels survive the dishwasher. And for another star parent who keeps it real about school life, read about Sushmita Sen at Alisah's parent-teacher meeting.
Frequently asked questions
What did Parineeti Chopra say about the default parent?
She told Gulf News that most of the world thinks the mother is the default parent, "as if the father had nothing to do with this child", and that a child is "50-50" between both parents.
How do Parineeti Chopra and Raghav Chadha share parenting?
She said they take turns: "If I'm at work, he's with the baby. When he's at work, I'm with the baby."
When was Parineeti Chopra's son born?
According to The Times of India, Parineeti Chopra and Raghav Chadha welcomed their son, Neer, in October 2025.
What is the mental load in parenting?
It is the invisible work of remembering, planning and checking, such as dates, forms, packing and replacing lost things. It often falls on one parent unless it is written down and shared.
How can parents split childcare more fairly?
Write every job down, give each one a single owner from start to finish, swap fully when one parent is at work, and check in once a week to rebalance.
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